aidanstillhere: maxfuckingbemis replied to your post: how does one talk to someone whats that coolestmomparty replied to your post: how does one talk to someone you yell into their mouth until one of you passes out
youngstero: so traditional joke structure is usually a setup and then a punchline but there’s an optional thing called a tag, which is a punchline made from the punchline and I’ve only ever been able to come up with one or two an example: setup I realized the other day that I had no idea how heath ledger died so I went onto his wikipedia page and apparently his housekeeper found...
cashcrab: Hey, I don’t want to be “that guy”, but I’m putting you under arrest due to clear evidence of the planned and deliberate first-degree murder of your spouse. Um, sorry, I know this is kind of weird. I can be pretty awkkkk sometimes lol.
eddplant: futuresushi: heronqueenblues: I wish I could buy plushies of the salamanders from homestuck that blew bubbles when you hugged them that is what I want Signal boost I also want this
marththebland: like a good neighbor, state farm is white
heronqueenblues: that’s the great part about boobs you know they never lose their magic I am as excited to see boobs now as I was when I was 12 that’s a joy that never fades
liamdryden: bekn: Tempted to go through all of Liam’s videos from the past year and count the amount of comments along the lines of: “You’re alive!” “Where have you been?” or the old favourite “Who are you? LOL” As the person on the receiving end (and therefore in this case Surgeon General) I strongly have to recommend against this if you value your dignity
I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably...– A thing John Green wrote in his newest book thing that made me cry (via effington)
eddplant: rocketfists: ...
adamusprime: chrismello: brrrwave: Is there a big east coast west coat comedy feud? Can I start one? let’s do that HEY ADAM WE’RE CALLING YOU OUT YOUR JOKES ARE CONTRIVED hey mello i like your experimental comedy it’s an interesting experiment on the most efficient way to make people not laugh
joshishollywood: felicefawn: The fact that the majority of teenagers would rather listen to Justin Bieber or Taylor Momsen over Jimi Hendrix or Pink Floyd makes me want to fucking kill myself. Literally. TBTHHHHHHHHBHTPFTFHTHBTHTH BTBTHTTBTTHTBTHTHBFHFPPPPP PPPPPPPPBFFFFFTHFBTHSBTHGFBTHTBTHTBFFFFFTHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBB
No no wait I want to actually go through this tag... →
“i don’t know how and why this is so concerning for me now but i guess since I will be 18 in a years time or something, this pressure for girls to be sex slaves to teenage boys annoys me.” “If a girl is a virgin until marriage her husband or partner will not have as much trust issues with them.” “I know i’m hot, but god, i have some decency!”
326159487z: Sometimes when I feel especially masochistic I browse the swag tag. Haven’t discovered the virginity one, then?
joshishollywood: corgipale: joshishollywood: Does “reblog if wish that (horrible diseased) didn’t exist” posts that you know that don’t help a thing the people that have the diseased Tumbir okay does this post make sense to anyone else, because ”does  posts that don’t help a thing the people that have diseased tumblr” um Tumbir problem: Getting pwn
holypeaches: every single time i’ve tried to read a clockwork orange i get really thrown by the annexation of pseudo russian slang cos most of those words actually mean things in russian and i can’t switch between languages every few words
adamusprime: if you’re having a writer’s block a good writing exercise it to narrow your ideas down to a finely-honed point and stab yourself with it
326159487z: Combining some of my favorite musical elements - orchestral strings, classically trained vocals, and electronic manipulation. ♡ The texture of the male voice reminds me of yours, actually.
joshishollywood: I considered telling a joke about strangling a scarecrow but I decided against it, it was kind of grasping at straws